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letting go of control

Letting Go of Control When Control Was How I Survived

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Letting Go of Control

Letting Go of Control When Control Was How I Survived

Control has always been my safety.

That didn’t start as an adult. It started when I was very young. And when I say young, I mean young. I learned early that if something was going to get handled, I was probably the one who had to handle it. If a problem was going to be fixed, I was the one who had to fix it. There wasn’t anyone I could fully trust to step in and take care of things for me. [Read more…] about Letting Go of Control When Control Was How I Survived

Surrender to God When Fear Is Loud

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Surrender to God

Surrender to God When Fear Is Loud

Today, returning to God looks like sitting with fear instead of running from it. It is surrender to God, not worldly hustle or frantic performance. 

The anxiety is strong today. I am not paid up on rent beyond today. I only have enough money to get back and forth to work for three days. My mind keeps running ahead of me, rehearsing every possible scenario where this falls apart, and I fail again. Every outcome feels heavier than the last, and fear keeps whispering that this time I won’t make it through. [Read more…] about Surrender to God When Fear Is Loud