Surrender to God When Fear Is Loud
Loving Without Return: Are We Willing to Love Like Jesus?
God loves us unconditionally. That’s easy to say, but it’s harder to really sit with what that means.
It means that even if we don’t love Him, He still loves us. Even if we ignore Him, mock Him, or never give Him a second thought, His love doesn’t shut off. Scripture says it plainly.
“We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19).
That means God loved us before we ever thought about loving Him back. Before belief. Before obedience. Before gratitude. Before anything.
And here’s the uncomfortable part. Some people He loves will never love Him in return. Ever.
Jesus died for people who will never care that He did. He gave His life knowing full well that some would reject Him, forget Him, or treat His sacrifice like it meant nothing at all.
So the question that keeps coming to mind is this: Do we love like that?
This question feels tied to the quiet return I wrote about earlier, where faith shifts from being about momentum to being about obedience.
Are we Capable of Loving without Return?
It’s one thing to love someone when there’s a chance it will come back to us. When there’s hope of friendship, appreciation, affection, or loyalty. That kind of love still feels safe. It still feels like an investment with potential payoff.
But what about loving someone when you know there might be nothing coming back? No thanks, recognition, no love, not even basic respect. Just silence. Or even rejection.
Jesus knew exactly what He was doing when He went to the cross.
“While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
That verse doesn’t say “after we cleaned ourselves up.” It doesn’t say “once we understood.” It doesn’t say “after we promised to love Him back.” It says while we were still sinners.
That’s loving without return.
And that kind of love is deeply unsettling, because it asks us to give without protecting ourselves. It asks us to invest without guarantees. It asks us to open our hands and our hearts, knowing we might never get anything back.
It’s the same kind of tension that shows up when faith feels uncertain, and we have to keep walking without clarity.
So let me ask it plainly.
Are you willing to love someone who may never love you? Are you willing to pour yourself out for someone who may never appreciate it, never acknowledge it, and never respond the way you hope?
Because that’s the love Jesus showed.
“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).
He said that while being nailed to a cross by people who didn’t care who He was.
Loving without return isn’t natural. Everything in us wants balance. Fairness. Reciprocity. We want love to come back around. We want to know if it’s worth it. But Jesus didn’t love because it was worth it. He loved because it was right.
That kind of love costs something real. It costs pride, safety, and it costs the illusion of control.
And it forces a hard question: Are we loving to be like Jesus, or are we loving because we hope it benefits us?
Jesus didn’t say, “Love those who love you back.” He said something much harder.
“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44).
That’s loving without return. That’s love without leverage. That’s love with no guarantee attached.
I’ve been learning that same lesson in other areas, too, especially around where I’ve been placing my hope.
Most of us, if we’re honest, love with conditions. We may not say it out loud, but they’re there. We love as long as we’re respected. As long as we’re valued. As long as we feel seen.
But Jesus keeps pulling us further than that.
He keeps asking us to love as He did. To invest ourselves, knowing full well that we might never see fruit from it. To give love even when it isn’t safe, smart, or emotionally satisfying.
Is that even possible?
Not on our own.
But Scripture never asks us to do it alone. “God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit” (Romans 5:5).
That means loving without return isn’t about trying harder. It’s about letting God love through us instead of protecting ourselves from disappointment.
That kind of love isn’t loud. It doesn’t announce itself. It doesn’t demand credit. It just keeps showing up.
And yes, it hurts sometimes. But it’s also the closest we ever come to loving like Jesus.
So I’m asking myself this now, honestly and without pretending I have it figured out.
Am I willing to love without return? Am I willing to give without guarantees? Am I willing to be misunderstood, unappreciated, or even rejected, and still choose love?
Because that’s the road Jesus walked.
And if I say I want to follow Him, I don’t get to skip that part.
This is another slow step on the road back. Not dramatic. Not impressive. Just a hard, honest question about what kind of love I’m really willing to live out.